Dear Ping Medina

Dude,

We need to talk, man to robot.

You have to stop. See, I'm just a typical robot. And when I say "typical robot," it means that I'm an attractive, cool, and (insert a remarkable characteristic) robot. And why am I here on Earth? To find myself a girl. All the girls that I met before like YOU. Adore YOU. And the guys want to be as cool as YOU. The longer you continue to be Ping Medina, the harder it is to get me a girl.

For my own sanity, I made a list of ways in which you can stop being Ping Medina.

1. Stop being so attractive. Look at you. You're like Gael Garcia Bernal. You're really, really, good-looking. You can pull-off a bad haircut, plain shirt, jeans, and dirty 5-year-old Chuck Taylors. And why is that a problem? I've been spent the entire week mimicking your style and signature poker face, but I look like a beaten up Optimus Prime. Sheeesh!

2. Stop being a great actor. You are the Prince of Philippine Independent Movies. You played a guitarist, the brother of a gay kid, and portrayed 20 different roles in all 20 films for Imahenasyon. Dude, you're like a crazy awesome actor. And you have Pen Medina's "acting blood" running through your veins. You do movies because you like to tell great stories and explore emotions. Asiong Salonga? Damn, even I want to see it!

3. Stop being a multifaceted person. You're an actor, musician, and a businessman. I went to PenPen last night. I ordered a Smoked Cheese Dynamita. It was the best creation on this planet. 

In conclusion, just stop it. Stop being Ping Medina. I'm thankful that you exist, really. But I need my sanity back.

Your long lost brutha,

Gerard

P.S. This is the main photo that didn't make it. Ping, no matter what you do, you still look cool!

P.P.S. I'm just an insecure robot. DON'T CHANGE.