Trip to the Beach

Gerard's owner told him that they were going on a trip to the beach for the very first time. He didn't know what she was talking about, but he grabbed his SPF300+ sunblock, metallic flip-flops and board shorts and hopped in the van anyway. Gerard was really excited.

After a very very long drive, they finally got to Anvaya Cove...it was a really bright weather...Gerard saw the beach for the first time. He said it looks like a really big bathtub with water splashing out. He began putting his SPF300+ sunblock so he can go outside without burning and rusting.

Gerard had been outiside for a while, he could hear the birds screeching and the loud crashing noises of the water. NiMu decided to give him a bath in the ocean. She put Gerard's legs in the water. It was cold..and the water splashed on him! It was a really strong one. And he got this first taste of salt water, he didn't like it one bit. 

After Gerard's minor hissy fit, he decided that he would just stand

and watch the water by the sand. The noise relaxed him

and made him feel better. He then fed the birds, built a sand castle,

and buried himself in the sand. 

Anyhoo, Gerard had a great (and safe) tan. He had a fun time at the beach. He hopes NiMu will bring him back there soon!

So High School

Gerard wishes he can board a space time capsule and go back a million lightyears to the past, when he was still in high school. It was then when he learned and experienced tons about being an awkward teenager—popping rusty metal zits every morning, daydreaming about his first crush, and attending a robo-prom. But most of all, high school was a place where he met a group of friends. They weren't very popular, but together, they formed an exclusive clique called "The Metalloids." But he hates his photo in their high school yearbook.

A pokerfaced teenage Gerard. He was a member of the soccer varsity.
Max, D.G. Zoom and Zoid were his seatmates.
They're all friends in Spacebook (their version of Facebook—but more interactive).

Gerard met his owner's high school barkada. They even named their group Tuke (too-ke). It's like a short term for Year 2000 or something. Weird name. Good, unusual, weird name. Gerard was touched knowing until now they all still keep in touch. Gerard never heard a group of very beautiful girls saying "Dude!!" "Shet ka!" "Asan si Lyntot?" "!@#@^ mo!!" in a most ghetto way possible! Tuke has certainly stood the testament of time. 

Marcel Ladra

G-13

Marcel owns a MiniStop franchise. She thought Gerard was a fried chicken.

Poor robot! So as a peace offering, she gave him a lifetime supply of

Dark Chocolate ice cream. Sweet!

Karen Anne Salvador

G-21

Gerard's thought bubble: "I think I wanna marry you..."

So he bought a ring, proposed...

...and she said YES!!!!

Not to Gerard, but to Archie Tengson. Congratulations!

Gerard will attend their wedding.

JM Hipolito (JM stands for...nevermind...)

G-14

Beauty and Brains rolled into one like a Kinemaki (a sushi dish in Robo Planet).

                                        Gerard: I think I wanna marry you too....

                                        JM: Sorry, but I prefer peanuts! *wink*

                                        Gerard: Huh? Why?

                                        JM: Everything deserves a WHY

                                        awkward silence...

                                        JM: Do you have a cigarette?

                                        ---end of conversation---

Miki Bacho

G-2

When Gerard first saw Miki, his mechanical body slightly short-circuited that someone needed to push his emergency button to immediately stop his uncontrollable swings and operating system. It was love at first sight. Just like in high school—seeing his robo-girl crush in the school cafeteria.

He described Miki in one word: BEAUTIFUL.

Gerard proposed for the third time. Miki said "Strict ang parents ko eh..."

But she'll think about it again.

Kriska Sonia Santos

G-23

High school Salutatorian. Pretty. General Manager.

Funny. Ms.United Nations 2001. Creative.

Driver and sweet lover. Over achiever.

Gerard told her she has everything, except for a C-cup.

Before the night ended, these five girls challenged Gerard to find the other members of Tuke. If he overcomes the task, he will part of the group. Here's the list:

Thank You For the Music

Gerard is a terrible singer. He tried joining "XYZ Coordinates Choir" during high school, singing along with friends at a karaoke joint and with minus-one tracks to get his voice better. It's not working. He knows the right note, he just can't make it sound appealing.. it sounds like cutting a piece of metal with a blunt saw. Ugh. 


Every time Gerard sings in front of people, he embarrasses himself. He badly needs a voice instructor...or someone who would teach him some vocal techniques. He was giddy when he found out his owner, NiMu, will have a photo shoot with Lea Salonga for one of their magazines. LEA SALONGA...eeeeek!! 

Gerard's thought bubble: Lea Salonga...she's so shiny...shimmery..and spleeendiiiiiiiiiiid... (A Whole New World cue here)

Lea gave Gerard some simple steps he should practice: 1) Relax and learn to breathe properly, 2) Practice singing AH EH EE OU (lots of awwww and ewwww), 3) Pronounce every word properly, and 4) Sing from the heart.

These made Gerard feel so much more confident and motivated to sing better. :)

I am nothing but a small voice

I have but a small dream

To smile upon the sun

Be free to dance and sing

Be free to sing my song to everyone..

Praise the Lourd

Gerard bumped into Lourd de Veyra over at Route 196 one Saturday night...

Over bottles of San Mig Light, Lourd said, "Mukang mahaba-habang inuman ito." A man of many words, they talked about a lot of things: kung ano ang suwabe at mabango, kung paano nagbu-buhol ang utak, ang mga alaala ni Batman at kung bakit sa tingin niya may radio active parts ang sago. Gerard was left ZOMG-fied and said this:

ANAK NG ANDROID!

Random Weekend

Gerard wind his key more than 50 times this past weeked. He gave his mechanical body and springs a few good twists and oil change by the time he rode a taxi for the first time, watched local bands, and made new friends.


His first taxi ride was NOT cheap, an 8-minute drive in a that metered taxi costs about 180 pesos...he could have bought a half gallon of ice cream..or 20 packs of pancit canton..or 360 pieces of fish balls..or 36 bags of Nips...or see a movie. Dammit!


Gerard took that taxi to Katipunan, Quezon City and went to a bar called Route 196. It was his first time in Route. The place is cozy. It's a music/bar/art gallery in one. He relaxed on a sofa, and watched The ButcherCons, Radioactive Sago Project, Caliph8+Malekule, and Goodleaf performed that night. He wanted to bring home Caliph8's electronic gadgets. Is there anything better than enjoying a slice of hot slice of pizza in one hand and a cold glass of beer in the other? Gerard's thought bubble: "Hmmmm....this is the life!"


It was also Hijo's first ever gig, (there were a lot of firsts hehe) and Gerard was happy to catch it. Hijo are Nathan Azarcon (vocals and bass), Ira Cruz (guitar and back-up vocals), Vic Mercado (drums), Junji Lerma (guitar) ,and Jay-O Orduna (keyboards). 


Gerard's new friends! :)

Paolo Bernaldo (The ButcherCons, bass)

Nathan Azarcon (Hijo, vocals and bass). Gerard loves that shirt he's wearing. Niiiiice!

Nathan with the ultimate onion hater and cabbage lover, Denise Mallabo :)

(Gerard loves her blog: The Dahlin' Way)

He's head over heels for Mylene Dizon....

...and her Doc Martens.

Random Friday, Friday!

Gerard hates that "Friday" song. He hates Rebecca Black. He thinks that the lyrics, "Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday / Today Friday, Friday / Tomorrow is Saturday / And Sunday comes after... wards" is well, dumb.


Learning about arts and crafts from "Edward Scissorhands", he thought Rebecca Black desperately needed a makeover.

With a little help from McVak (Macross VF-1 Valkyrie).

(spot McVak)

A little mustache here...thick eyebrows...what do you think?

Random Thursday

The weather was really hot most of the time, yet Gerard was lucky to catch a warm and sunny morning. He decided to visit a rooftop of a random building. Gerard could hear sound of cars and tricycles ran up the road below. He was still contemplating on how to be famous, and if Optimus Prime have already received his fan letter.

At the other end of the rooftop he noticed a guy (with no expression on his face) was smoking a cigarette.

Wilver is an art director. He loves adventures too. He recently went to Boracay. He told Gerard to go there for some "reflective moments". Gerard mentioned that he's never really been to the beach.

Why?

Gerard secret revealed: Gerard is afraid of too much sun exposure. His neon green arms will turn moss green, while his bright red legs will turn deep scarlet like this...

Solution: Mechanical Sunblock with SPF300 +Wax moisturizer.

But he's clueless where to get it! Help him find one PLEASE!!!!

Random Wednesday

On his way to the store 'round the corner to buy more Nips, Gerard was pondering on how he can be famous like all the other robot-celebs out there. 

Gerard's thought bubble: What do they have that I don't? Is it because of the ability of the Transformers to become vehicles? I'd be freaked out the car I'm driving suddenly turns upright and speak! Or is it because of R2D2's cool voice? Any random robot can do that! Then there's Metro Man... sheesh. Even the name sounds too corny. His looks remind me of Johnny Bravo!  

A few moments later...

Gerard: Could that be..... Metro Man? I was just thinking how... er... cool you are! You're so…. white!

Metro Man: Hey there, Gerard! I read your blog, it's cool. But I'm not here to be in your blog.

Gerard: Okay, that sounded a little weird. Nice car by the way.

Metro Man: I'm a little rusty too. Megamind and I've been waiting for a villain to threaten Metro City. It's been a week!  I was thinking if you could help me lose weight. Teach me your dance moves.

Gerard: Umm..sure. Just raise both elbows like this…and swing your arms left to right...

Metro Man: [imitates Gerard]

Random Tuesday

"Oh sh*t! 5 pesos down the drain. Now, what?"

Choose 1 answer:

a. Gerard will not eat the candies

b. He'll think "wala pang-5 minutes" and eat the candies anyway

Random Monday

Gerard making tusok-tusok the fishballs

Let's Get Physical

Gerard seems a little rusty, and his dance moves needed a little polishing. 

He needs to be more fit coz he's been drinking a lot of petroleum that makes his mechanical tummy bloated.

He seeks advice from TV show host and athlete Dyan Castillejo.

Dyan told Gerard to try boxing or train with the Azkals team (James and Phil Younghusband are his idols)…and drink wheatgrass juice every other day to help keep him fit and robust all day long. 

Karl Roy

NiMu, Gerard's owner, have most of Karl Roys' albums and would play P.O.T. almost every weekend. Karl Roy is her favorite local artist. Listening to him is such a treat to Gerard, he can't help but be impressed by his music.


Gerard was mesmerized to see him last March 31 at saGuijo—singing his heart out, dancing, bringing people to their feet as always.

He showed Karl his funky dance moves.

Gerard also wants a Baybayin tattoo.

(ge da - Baybayin translation of Gerard)

Song of the Day

1517 - The Whitest Boy Alive by Go, Gerard

Tado! Seriously.

Gerard bumped into another Pinoy pop culture icon.

Tado and his Volkswagen Beetle, Bugoy. Gerard wants his red cowboy hat.

Two down, one more to go... Angel Rivero where are you? 

Gerard and Ramon

How did Gerard know about Ramon Bautista? Answer: YouTube.

Gerard once dreamed of becoming a world famous magician. He wanted to learn tricks like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, staying alive even after being poked by daggers, disappearing acts and street magic. But the problem was that he couldn't find a magician in his planet. ZERO. No magic school. No "Abrakadabra". No Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort. So he searched through the World Wide Web and saw "Dan Michael". Since then, he wanted to be like Dan Michael, he wanted to be RAMON BAUTISTA.

To Gerard, Ramon Bautista is THE ONE— fame, wit, sense of humor and sex appeal (okay… that's sounds gay). That's why he was crazy happy when he saw Ramon on a random Thursday night in Makati. 

A few moments ago, Gerard was ready to give up on my dreams of becoming an Internet star. He couldn't possibly compete against those good-looking bimbo dudes with rock hard abs and killer whitened smiles, or those talented underaged youtube sensations that get discovered by Ellen De Generis. So, just when my plastic-plated foot was about to take a step closer to a deep cliff---an inspiration in the form of a tweet from my idol Ramon Bautista. He said:

@ramonbautista: "hey gerard! always remember, you are not a robot, you are the embodiment of youth, friendship, and a life of rock and roll. despite your plastic arms, you are a strong inspiration to the youth, and do not let everyone tell you otherwise."

See you around, Ramon. Itsalottafan!!

saGuijo Part 2

Gerard's first concert...Daft Punk. He trekked Mars. With his robo posse, he danced like a rockstar. Screamed "AROUND THE WORLD" a hundred times. Wore helmets with various LED effects and metallic finger gloves. Those were the days. Gerard was crazy happy...until he almost had a short-circuit when he found out Daft Punk ARE NOT robots! eeeeek! *faint

Music is second nature to him—or at least that what he says.

Going to saGuijo is like a big concert. It's Gerard's second little home, and is always welcome to drop by for a visit and meet new friends.

He still likes Daft Punk.

Enzo Marcos (Severo)

Gerard can't play an instrument. He asked Barbie Almalbis if she could teach him some guitar basics... (Gerard is currently playing Guitar Hero-beginner level)

...or voice lessons with Nicole Asensio (General Luna). She is H-O-T!!!!

Ms. Pia Magalona

saGujio Part 1, Part 3